The Dangers of Being 'The Guy Who Knows Cars'

"Lets Just Drive" (lets-just-drive)
02/06/2015 at 22:40 • Filed to: None

"What's a good car?"

( Original article can be found @ !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! )

Do you like cars? Do you know people? Then you too have probably been asked the same question; what's a good car?

What is a good car?

Is a nine hundred thousand mile Lexus a good car? Most people would say no, but Matt Farah of Smoking Tire fame would disagree. Is an E46 M3 a good buy when it needs love? You might think not, but Tavarish of Jalopnik's Car Buying blog has proven otherwise – successfully flipping one for a profit. Everyday Drivers, Todd Deeken and Paul Schmucker have recommended Subaru STi's and the Toyobaru Twins so fervently they should probably be getting royalties on sales. Doug DeMuro bought a Ferrari but maybe his CarMax warrantee-covered Range Rover was the better car.

Accordingly a "good car" must be a high mileage, German sports sedan with all wheel drive, a dead-brand badge and an impossibly perfect warranty. Right?

The truth is that there isn't any one right answer. There are as many right answers as there are cars with the possible exception of the Pontiac Aztek – if it is the answer the only question should be, "Will Breaking Bad make it cool years later?"

Let's discuss 'the Questions'.

Beginning with one of my very favorites, "Should I buy _____ car?" Literary minefields can be worse than literal minefields (in the mind of the writer). The problem with this question is that most times it is not what they are really asking. With the same words two different but relatively intelligent people might be asking two completely different questions. The first may be seeking validation and only wants you to affirm what he or she already believes while the other just wants a comparative analysis of the aforementioned vehicle's direct competitors. Faced with this quandary, in its various forms, I will typically bait and switch.

Another category, the vague car questions, is a hoot. No word of a lie, today a co-worker asked me point blank which was a better car; a Ferrari or a Lamborghini. Ignoring the impulse to reply Range Rover and walk away, I countered, "For what?" I love these questions; the vaguer the better as I derive a sick joy from those partially informed queries. "Is the Land Rover better than the Range Rover?"

Watch out for questions with the word 'the' before a brand. The Ford, the Aston Martin, the Pagani Zonda R with the optional carbon discs.

Getting back to the old bait and switch, the best thing we can do (as comparatively well informed colleagues) is ask the hard questions. Even if it seems gauche to discuss budgets, this one tactic can make all the difference because there is nothing quite like discussing the newest super sedans from Audi, BMW and Mercedes with someone who only has five thousand in the bank. In fact, if I have learned anything from Paul and Todd over at Everyday Driver through their car debates it's this; almost every other variable can be shifted from seats to doors to cylinders but the one insurmountable, fundamental piece of information pertains to how much money is on the table.

"I'm thinking about that new BMW SUV, the X something or other. I think it has an M in its name." And then, "I've got forty thousand to spend."

"Let's talk 3-series wagons," you'll say (or maybe you won't but I always lead with an estate).

One of the worst things we can do when discussing cars specifically or as a general topic of discussion is insert our own bias. The next terrible thing is being blamed, "I bought a lemon and it's your entire fault!" Or, "You told me the Prius was for hipster-fags and the retarded. When I said that at my wife's book club…" Admission: I love Mustangs. Admission #2: There is almost no circumstance in which I'd recommend a Mustang over almost any other option other than, "I want to join the Bro-Club at my local Douchebag Association" or "I want to build a cheap, fast car for the track or strip" but the latter isn't really something a car-noob would be looking for. Okay, so maybe the S550 (that's 2015 forward for those who don't know) is making a good argument for itself and anyone shopping the right sports coupe would be insane (if its in budget) not to look at the Boss 302 based on how they are holding value and the fact that yes, Ford did a good job with the LRA. Avoid your own personal bias, is all I'm saying, unless the moment calls for it.

Something I encourage as an enthusiast is the development of other interested parties. The way I see it, if you are in to talking cars then the chances are that we are doing exactly that and to my mind any time spent talking cars is time well spent. The problem arises when we are too elitist and when we aren't willing to make the effort to 'dumb down' our chatter or when we fail to recognize the discomfort some find in discussing foreign topics. Not every chat needs to be an address, not every pitch a sale.

Of course, I am discussing this very topic on a car blog with fellow car bloggers… so what do I know?

DISCUSSION (10)

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Lets Just Drive
02/06/2015 at 22:56

Glad to see you back here.

deekster_caddy > Lets Just Drive
02/06/2015 at 22:57

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Nice piece. When faced with the inevitable question I usually respond with "What do you need a car to do?" That usually catches them off guard and I can often get people to consider something smaller than they thought they needed...

Lets Just Drive > deekster_caddy
02/06/2015 at 22:59

I did the same thing with my wife; convinced her she'd be good with something smaller than she was looking for... and I'm 6'4.

ranwhenparked > Lets Just Drive
02/06/2015 at 23:03

I usually try to get them to narrow down a budget, and then a particular category - compact/midsize/full-size/SUV, etc., and then give them the 2-3 least offensive options in that category/price range.

And then they always go and buy a CR-V anyway, so whatever.

Herr Quattro - Has a 4-Motion > Lets Just Drive
02/06/2015 at 23:12

when I get the Ferrari vs Lamborghini, I say Alfa Romeo. Or Pagani depending on the day

DoYouEvenShift > deekster_caddy
02/06/2015 at 23:24

I try that same exact tactic. They get confused, and buy a Tahoe.

WhereAreMyPants > deekster_caddy
02/07/2015 at 00:11

You're better at this than me.

I recommended a Fit, and she bought a Civic.

I recommended an A3, and he bought a ridiculously loaded Accord.

I recommended an Impreza 5-door, and they bought an Outback.

I recommended an Outback, and she bought an Explorer.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Lets Just Drive
02/07/2015 at 02:04

I was recently asked by a friend who, is some what into cars, and likes driving stick, and owned a 99 A4, that had been eating at his wallet in repair bills; what I would sedan I would buy for 18,000. My reply at first was "a hatchback" . Then a GLI, then a Taurus if he didn't want a manual. eventutally we landed on a used 4 cyl 5 speed Accord which he had already been looking at. I told him'd it'd be a safe bet and if he liked it, he should buy it. Now he is free of the imprisonment that is owning a 15 year old VAG automobile with 200,00 miles.n

deekster_caddy > WhereAreMyPants
02/07/2015 at 08:30

Keep trying, soon she'll be driving a Suburban!

Lets Just Drive > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
02/10/2015 at 18:16

I came for the beers and stayed for the more beers.